Penalties in football: how to help your child stay calm
Penalties in football are not only a matter of technique: they also test composure, team unity and the way pressure is experienced. Day 17 of the 2026 World Cup produced two surprising penalty shoot-out eliminations: Paraguay knocked out Germany and Morocco did the same to the Netherlands. For a family, the lesson is not only about who missed or who scored, but about how a player learns to stay composed when everyone is watching and how a team can compete as a united group even when the opposition has a bigger name.
Penalties in football: calmness can also be trained
Paraguay eliminated Germany in the round of 32 after a 1-1 draw, winning 4-3 in the penalty shoot-out; goalkeeper Orlando Gill was decisive, saving two penalties. Morocco also knocked out the Netherlands in another shoot-out, winning 3-2 from the spot after a 1-1 draw. (euronews) (Al Jazeera)
For a child who plays football, a shoot-out can seem like the most individual moment in the sport: one ball, one taker, one goalkeeper and everybody watching. But that image does not tell the whole story. The penalty is taken alone, yes, but the player reaches that point with an entire team behind them: those who defended, those who ran, those who encouraged, those who kept the team in the match and those who accepted their role.
Marcet’s core material highlights that Paraguay’s captain did not speak about individual talent after qualification, but about unity: he emphasised the strength of the group to face any situation. That is the first major family lesson from Day 17: in penalties in football, individual composure is often supported by the security of the group.
Unity can overcome the reputation of the opposition
Germany arrived with an enormous history: four World Cup titles and a very strong competitive tradition. Paraguay, by contrast, were not the favourites. But in a knockout match, the reputation of the opposition cannot decide anything on its own.
For a family, this idea is very useful. Many children freeze before playing against a “big” team, a famous opponent or a player everybody talks about. In their mind, the match is already lost before it begins. At other times, the opposite happens: if they believe the opposition is weaker, they relax too much.
Team unity helps organise those emotions. When a child understands that they are not competing alone against “the name” of the opposition, but as part of a collective plan, they can experience the match with greater calm. It is not about denying that some opponents are strong. It is about not allowing fear or admiration to decide the game before it starts.
A simple question to ask at home could be: “What does a united team need to do when the opposition seems bigger?” The answer should not be “get lucky”, but stay together, support one another, trust the plan and avoid falling apart when pressure arrives.
Goalkeepers also experience silent pressure
In penalties in football, attention usually focuses on the player taking the kick. But the goalkeeper experiences a very particular kind of pressure: they can become the hero, while also feeling that something almost impossible is expected of them. Orlando Gill was Paraguay’s key figure after saving two penalties against Germany, a performance FIFA presented as one of the most important moments of his career. (FIFA)
For families of goalkeepers, this perspective is important. A child who plays in goal often feels exposed: if they make a mistake, everybody notices; if they make a save, everybody celebrates; if they concede, they may carry the blame even when the mistake started earlier. In a shoot-out, that exposure is multiplied.
Supporting a young goalkeeper properly does not mean demanding that they “save everything”. It means helping them focus on what they can control: preparation, concentration, reading the situation, decision-making and emotional recovery after each penalty. If they save one, they should not believe they are unbeatable. If they save none, they should not feel useless.
A goalkeeper’s calmness does not appear from nowhere. It is trained through experiences, confidence, habits and an environment that does not condemn them for every goal conceded.
Staying composed during a shoot-out is also emotional learning
Penalties in football teach something that goes beyond the result: how to manage waiting. The player preparing to take a penalty knows they may have to decide the outcome. The player who does not take one also experiences tension. The goalkeeper needs to refocus after every shot. The entire team moves between excitement and fear within seconds.
For a child or teenager, learning to wait is difficult. They want everything to be resolved quickly. They want to know whether they will win or lose. They want to avoid the mistake before it even exists. That is why shoot-outs can be so educational if they are discussed properly at home.
The conversation should not be reduced to “what a terrible penalty” or “what a great save”. It is better to ask: “Who stayed calmer?”, “how were the team-mates encouraging one another?”, “what do you think the goalkeeper was thinking before the next penalty?”.
This way, the child learns that competing also means regulating emotions: breathing, returning to the present, accepting that uncertainty exists and remaining available to help the team.
When a result unites an entire country
After Paraguay’s victory, president Santiago Peña declared a national holiday to celebrate qualification. Reuters reported that the government presented the victory as an event that went beyond sport and as an example of perseverance, faith and national strength. (Reuters)
For a family, this scene provides an opportunity to talk about belonging. Sport can unite people who do not know one another, fill the streets, move different generations and make an entire country feel proud. That is beautiful and powerful.
But it is also worth adding some perspective for children: when a sporting result becomes a national or political event, the pressure on players can also increase. Representing a large number of people can be motivating, but it should not become an unbearable burden.
A child who plays football may experience something similar on a smaller scale: representing their family, school, neighbourhood or team. Families can help by reminding them that support is not a debt. Playing with people behind you does not mean having to prove everyone else’s worth.
Morocco and Paraguay: competing without an inferiority complex
Day 17 also reminded us that world football can no longer be understood only through its traditional big names. Reuters analysed these eliminations as part of a broader shift: historic powers are being knocked out earlier, while national teams from Africa and the Americas are progressing more strongly in the tournament. (Reuters)
For a young footballer, this is a very valuable lesson. The team with the greater history does not always win. The team that seems smaller does not always lose. The difference often lies in competing without an inferiority complex, sticking to the plan and believing in the group.
At home, this idea can help challenge damaging comparisons. A child should not feel inferior because they play for a modest team or because they do not have the same reputation as others. Nor should they feel superior simply because their club wins often. What matters is how they learn, how they compete, how they show respect and how they improve.
Scientific basis: pressure, support and confidence
Research into youth sport shows that pressure from the family environment can affect the motivation of young athletes. A study published in PLOS ONE found that parental pressure was negatively associated with the satisfaction of basic psychological needs such as autonomy, competence and relatedness; these needs are linked to intrinsic motivation, enjoyment and lower levels of boredom. (euronews)
Applied to penalties in football, the practical idea is clear: families help more when they provide calm than when they add judgement. A child who misses a penalty does not need to hear that they disappointed everyone. A child who scores does not need to be turned into a permanent hero either. In both cases, they need perspective: learn, return to the team and continue developing.
Expert quote
A penalty shoot-out may seem like an individual moment, but it is sustained by the confidence of the group. Composure under pressure can be trained; help your child avoid turning success into arrogance or a mistake into identity.
— José Ignacio Marcet · Marcet Research Institute · 2026 World Cup Development Observatory · Code 202603182024
Frequently asked questions about penalties in football
How can I help my child if they miss a penalty?
First, avoid turning the mistake into a label. You can acknowledge that it hurts and then help them look at the process: how they prepared, what they felt, what they can learn and how they can make themselves available to the team again.
Can penalties in football be trained or are they just luck?
They can be trained. There is technique, routine, breathing, decision-making and emotional management. Luck can play a part, but preparation helps a player approach the moment with greater confidence.
What should I say if they are afraid to take a penalty?
Do not ridicule them or force them to appear brave. You can tell them that fear is normal and that courage does not mean feeling no fear, but preparing and acting responsibly when the moment comes.
How should I support a goalkeeper after a penalty shoot-out?
Remind them that not everything depends on them. They can review what they did well and what they could improve, but they should not carry the team’s result alone.
What does Day 17 of the World Cup teach families?
It teaches that unity can sustain a team against a powerful opponent, that composure in decisive moments can be trained and that a sporting result can unite an entire country without the player losing their balance.
Practical conclusion
Penalties in football are not just a scene of tension. They are a lesson in composure, teamwork, belonging and pressure. Paraguay and Morocco eliminated historic opponents in shoot-outs, but the lesson for families goes beyond the surprise: a young player needs to learn that even the most individual moments are supported by the group.
Good support means not exaggerating either the mistake or the success. It means helping your child breathe after the decisive moment, share the credit if they win and avoid falling apart if they lose. Because football develops people when it teaches them to compete with courage, but also with calm.
Keep learning with Marcet Knowledge
At Marcet Knowledge, every World Cup matchday is viewed as an opportunity to better understand the development of young footballers. For families, talking about penalties, composure and unity helps them experience decisive moments with better judgement and less pressure.
